8 Things That Bug the Shit Out of Me on Facebook

1. Promoting your company or employer

There’s a reason Facebook has business pages—it’s so your friends can choose whether they want to connect with you on Facebook or with your business.

Realtors, I’m primarily talking to you, since you guys are by far the worst offenders of this. Most of you post a never-ending stream of news stories about how now is the best time to sell or buy (depending on the week), along with listings of all the properties you’re pimpin’. Well I’m not buying or selling a house anytime soon. So I want to turn off this feed, but since you’re posting this noise from your personal account, I’m forced to turn off your stream. For the love of God, set up a business page for this stuff.

2. “I Wonder Who Will Bite…” status updates

“I’m waiting.”
“Only three more hours.”
“I couldn’t be happier.”

Stop. If you want your friends to know something, tell them. Don’t force your friends to ask for more details.

3. Insanely long personal revelations

I’m sure Facebook never intended status updates to be a substitute for treatises or Ph.D. dissertations on your struggle to understand the human condition.  If you want to write long paragraphs about your epiphanies, START A BLOG. THEY’RE FREE.

4. Notices about what apps you’re using

I don’t care what you’re reading, playing, watching or listening to through an app that shares data with Facebook. Even if I wanted to check it out, often I’d have to sign up with those apps to access your article, song, video, etc.—and I don’t want to. Please, disable all those annoying notifications.

5.  Inspirational quotes overload

Yes, you can do it. We know. We all know. An occasional inspirational quote is fine. But if I wanted one every day, I’d sign up with one of the dozens of websites that offer daily inspirational messages.

6. Checking-in EVERYWHERE

Oh, really, you’re at the gas station? Need some company? Are you trying to coordinate a meet-up at pump #7? Are you hoping your friends are also at that gas station (and maybe you just can’t see them)? Do you need everyone to know you get your gas at Chevron, not Mobil?

7. Change my status update for an hour in remembrance of someone I never knew, let alone heard of

No, I won’t.

8. People who “like” their own check-in’s or posts



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